Well done, roses. Well done.
“Don’t you want to, like, slay something? At least pick someone badass!”
Special Agent Dana Scully has no fucks to give.
NEW POD: Rog and Davo Pod live from SXSW in Austin, Texas with NFL stars Jamaal Charles and Victor Cruz guest. LISTEN HERE
I went to this podcast recording. But the people standing around me on the NBC Sports lawn were talking so much, I could barely hear what was being said. A true sub-optimal experience.
Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing her to go deeper into her depression. Help your loved one keep her body healthy, and her mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of herself. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)
But you see the problem: We can’t talk about buzzy Netflix shows because our schedules are out of sync. The rough expectations for knowing if your friends are on episode 12 or episode 1 have been destroyed. Netflix thinks it has performed a noble act by releasing the entire season en masse, but it has actually wreaked havoc on the best part of television: talking about television.
The cost of higher education has increased over 500% in the last thirty years; a Forbes blog asserts, “Since 1981 the list price level of tuition and fees has risen sixfold while the consumer price index has only increased two-and-a-half times.” If the US instituted free, universal higher education right now, estmates for its costs range between $15 and $60 billion a year—a minuscule amount compared with, say, the military budget. But privatization of the costs of higher education through individual debt has a disciplinary purpose, ensuring full-time participation in the labor market —including by professional artists. Like lawyers, doctors, and accountants, most professional artists today can’t afford the Bohemian life. Paying off debt is only one reason to aspire to a life guaranteeing comfort. But the question of debt evokes once again the question of the extent to which professionalization is compatible with freedom.
My unsettling devotion to Shakespeare was born from a slightly different set of interests. I started college fresh from an abrupt and traumatizing de-conversion experience, following eighteen years of devout belief in Christianity. Atheism had descended on me almost overnight, sweeping the cathedral of my mind bare of its enshrined occupant, but leaving the structure intact. I was ripe for acquiring a new idolatry. As it happens, the field of Shakespeare scholarship is full of borderline mystics who consider Shakespeare’s time on earth an event little short of a messianic visitation. No greater writer will ever exist, or ever need to exist, because everything important that can be observed about the human condition is depicted in the body of Shakespeare’s work. Confronted with evidence to the contrary, like the misogyny of Taming of the Shrew or the anti-Semitism of The Merchant of Venice, these critics will react a bit like a serious scientist who believes in intelligent design, folding the fabric of reality around their need to keep believing in Shakespeare as the apotheosis of literature. I’m not mocking those people. I fell under the same spell. Honestly, deep in my heart, a very small part of me still believes Shakespeare was everything Harold Bloom said he was. It’s the same part that still slightly hopes I’ll go to Heaven when I die.