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or the first time in the history of the world, mankind will witness Pujols in a contract year. Anything could happen. No one is safe. Bring your children indoors and keep them close. I predict two home runs in his first at bat.
Pujols’s 2011 contract-year stat line:
• .411 AVG
• 78 HR (by the all-star break)
• 235 RBI (one for every year of America)
• 180 R
• 43 Saves
• 4th MVP Award
• 1st Cy Young Award
• Nobel Peace Prize

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I wanted to find something cheery for everyone on a Wednesday, so here it is.

Witch House.

A new sub-genre of electronic music made for people who like to bring strobe lights to the graveyard.

At the moment, there’s a a handful of artists making this type of music—including White Ring, Salem and oOoOO (props for rocking the onomatopoeia band name).

Here are a few tracks for everyone to get acquainted. Break out the cloaks y’all.