A conversation I have every month or so




Me: (tries to visit a local restaurant’s website via iPhone)
Restaurant website: I require Flash. Fuck off.
Me: I just want to know how late you’re open.
Website: Nope.
Me: But I’m on my phone. Don’t you have a little “HTML Version” link up in the corner or something?
Website: I’m ignoring you.
Me: What if I’m on my phone because I’m out, looking for a place to eat? Didn’t that ever occur to you?
Website: Fuck entirely off.
Me: (gives up, switches to computer)
Website: Oh! Hi! What can I help you with today?
Me: What are your —
Website: Hang on, I’m loading the music.
Me: Really.
Website: You’ll love it. It’s “Girl from Ipanema” arranged for steel drum and keytar.
Me: No, you don’t have to —
Website: Loading…
Me: All I want is —
Me: (drums fingers on desk)
Website: There we go. Isn’t that nice? It’s… what’s the word. Ethnicky.
Me: What are your hours?
Website: Take a look at our menu! It’s a PDF of a screenshot of a scan of a Word document printed on a dishtowel. With fonts!
Me: I don’t care. What are your hours?
Website: Don’t worry, the menu loads in a new window so the music won’t stop. Can I show you some broken images?
Me: What. Are. Your. Hou. Rs.
Website: I… I don’t know.
Me: (goes to Denny’s)

Oh yes, I’ve had <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/seanbonner/4235686406/“>that conversation</a> myself.


A poem for day one of Google Buzz

Three Networks for the Twitter kings under the sky,
Seven for the Facebook lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Weblog Men doomed to die,
One for the Google on his non-evil throne,
In the Land of Internets where the Shadows lie.
One Network to rule them all, One Network to find them,
One Network to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Internets where the Shadows lie.


Endor (by justinvg)

via io9